Monday mornings where you wake up smiling and recharged only to be deflated before noon due to events beyond your control that directly affect you.
That my friends, is irksome.
Quiet
It’s been quiet at my house lately. How is this possible with 2 dogs and 2 young kids running around, especially with Halloween thrown in the mix? Easy. I shut off the TV. I don’t mean Netflix, because honestly, I have a slight addiction to a couple shows, but cable TV. It’s nothing but madness. Anger, hatred, violence, materialism and fakeness. Is that even a word? Too bad, I’m using it.
I just realized today that I have not watched regular TV in about 6 days and I don’t miss it. My quiet mornings are now mine. If I want the weather, I can look it up. If I really want to know what’s going on in the world, I can look it up. But I’m not starting my day this way. Not anymore.
I’ve been talking more, having conversations that push me to my limits and frustrate me beyond belief, but it’s making me think outside the box, see other sides of the issue. I’m given the chance to work through my argument, which can be difficult, but it gets done and without this feeling of pressure to get it out. Sometimes I have issues processing and correctly phrasing what I need to say so this acceptance & support is so very welcomed. Despite my cries of irritation during the process. Cause let’s be honest, this is me we are talking about.
Without the TV on, news is gone. The constant onslaught of this horrid election and general madness that the world is in right now. I’m calmer in the mornings without the stress. My kids are not watching it either as it was affecting them. No news on at night either. It’s just useless to be honest and doesn’t do anyone any good.
Now for those of you saying, well, you can’t shelter your kids, give it a rest. My kids are far from sheltered. If anything, they needed this break. My oldest is a bit too involved in this election and she’s only 8! I love the passion, but hate the stress and fear that this election is bringing her. She does not need to be dealing with that at such a young age.
Without TV, materialism diminishes to some extent. The “I have to keep up with the Jones” is lessened. Especially for the kids. Less toy commercials, less, “I want, I want, I want.” They are always going to want something, they are kids, but I’m unable and unwilling to give them everything they want or desire that is material. I won’t feel guilty about that either. Without the ads interrupting every 10 minutes or so, there’s peace. They can focus on the movie or story they are watching. Less stress all around.
As I mentioned earlier, I have a slight Netflix addiction. I find it relaxing to be able to just sit down and watch something uninterrupted for a period of time at night once everything is done. You don’t lose momentum during the 50 minutes or so it’s on. Makes the story and my interest stronger and more involved.
Maybe I’m just old and I need or desire less in my life. I know I need less chaos and stress. And I’m working on it, slowly.
I think I like this. My new routine and I hope I can keep it up.
Art, expression & my kid
I’m so very proud of my oldest. At the ripe old age of 8, she came home with her first piece of art, done at school in art class & without our knowledge of the project, with a note saying it was inappropriate.
Now some have accused us of fostering violence with our praise of this image. We took it as she was working with Halloween imagery and this just came from that.
Maybe it’s her intense hatred of the subject, and we do side with her there.
Maybe she was just trying to express her feelings on this whole election. Her first one being an observer with an opinion. And boy does she have her opinions.
Maybe she just, in her juvenile 8 year old mind, thought it was funny.
Whatever her thought process was, she created something expressive. And like all good art, it often starts conversations.
And for the record, we found out it was offensive due to the politics. Seriously? Third grade people. Let them think for themselves a little.
Judge for yourself and let me know your thoughts.
Damn Creative Blocks
Creative blocks suck. No need to mince words here. They stop your workflow and get you off track. But how do you get back on track? That’s always my dilemma and when I have a hard enough time staying on task as it is, this doesn’t help.
This article is a pretty great resource for realizing that getting stuck is actually a good thing, even though we all fight that theory, and that pushing yourself is what art is all about.
http://create.adobe.com/2016/8/3/breaking_through_mid_project_creative_block.html
Now, let’s go create!
I’m more than ready for this, well, most of it.
Okay, so I’m a little behind in posting this, but better late than never! I got busy and forgot it was in my draft folder ready to go. Somedays I think if my head weren’t attached, I forget that too!
Five years ago, I sat on my bed with this brand new creature in my arms and I was freaking out. Big time. She was my second child, so I wasn’t freaking out about raising her, I was already screwing up the first one, the second time around it’s cake, but rather, how were we going to afford to raise her? Daycare for 2 kids is expensive and we didn’t make a lot, but got by. But having two in full-time care was going to be a hardship.
Well, with an amazing support system of friends and family, we did it. And now, finally, the day we’ve been waiting for is upon us.
THE FIRST DAY OF KINDERGARTEN!
For Crandall Kid 2, that is.
Every parent is different, so I mean no disrespect, but I am not one that cries when their kid goes to school. I’m happy! One, my bank account is a little happier and I can afford to finally pay some bills off, tw0, it’s part of life. They are getting bigger, although I told both of them that they need to slow down the growing up just a bit. Sigh… And three, this is their time. Their time to learn, make new friends, grow, explore and figure out who they are and it’s flat our fascinating to watch.
I have girls, which means emotions run really high at our house and I’m dreading the tween years big time, but hey, I’m stocking up on wine right now, so it’s all good. I’m dreading the drama (which if what I have experienced in the last fews months is any indication of what’s to come, I’m doomed.
Until then, happy parents unite! School has started, a new year has begun and it’s time to enjoy watching them explore and experience life.
Good luck to all!
I am unfinished.
Unfinished. What a powerful word.
My life changed when I got married and I thought that my life was starting, and for a while it was. Fast forward 14 years, 2 cross country moves, 2 kids, 3 dogs, a cat, a dozen or so fish later, 3 jobs and 2 milestone birthdays and sadly, that chapter is closing. It is finished.
It’s not awesome, but it’s not horrible either. Nobody truly likes to close a chapter and be done. We have kids, so that chapter in my life only remains unfinished in the sense that the marriage is over, but the parenting element is alive and well and if my girls are anything like me, they will make sure that my job as a mom is never finished. The chapter of him and I, however, of hopes and dreams of a life together as a couple are finished and with that ending, I become someone new and far from finished, I’m alive and raw and hopeful and scared, responsible, irresponsible, caring, fair, and proud and excited of who I am becoming. I am unfinished.
Daily Prompt: Perplexed
To be honest, I’m totally perplexed about what is going on in my life right now. Without going into a lot of detail let’s just say that I have entered into a chapter of change. I turned 40, I got a tattoo to celebrate, my youngest started kindergarten, I started another grad class at UVA and my personal life is weird. All of this happened within 2 weeks. I need wine. Lots of wine.
I’m all for adventure, but can we just chill the hell out for a few minutes so I can get my bearings? I’m cool with challenges, they make life interesting, but I’m totally perplexed as to how I got where I am today. Why didn’t I see the signs? Or did I and did I just choose to ignore them? Time will tell what will happen next, but I am more excited than ever to find out what comes next. Although a bit freaked out at the same time. Life is perplexing. Would we have it any other way? I didn’t think so.
You have your beliefs. I have mine. Can we agree to disagree? I guess not.
Maybe I’m naive, but shouldn’t people just let people live as they wish? Okay, I’m naive. Or stubborn because I won’t give up this dream. Who knows. Either way, I’m beyond annoyed, I’m pissed.
To many that know me, it’s not a secret that I don’t believe in organized religion. It does nothing for me and I simply can’t comprehend leaving something up a God in a book. However, this does NOT mean that I don’t respect your belief in it. I have some really good friends who are very religious and it doesn’t bother me in the least. In fact, up to age 12 I was raised going to church, was married in a church and even tried going for a while. I met great people along the way. What I don’t respect, and never will respect, is you pushing your beliefs, knowing full well, what mine are, onto mt kids when I am not around. That is unacceptable and will not be tolerated. If you are bent on converting me to your way of thinking, go through me, not my children. It’s not acceptable behavior.
Why am I so upset? Why am I writing this? I feel I have to. I feel I have to, yet again, make it clear to so many, that I am Agnostic. I like to think there is something out there, but I don’t know what, but I simply don’t believe in organized religion. Why you ask? It’s a personal feeling. Religion has brought much more suffering than necessary to this world from the early ages on. Fast forward to present day and women’s rights are being ripped away, or fought against desperately, by those that do nothing but “quote” the bible, because it’s against their beliefs to allow women certain rights to their own body. How is that okay to any female out there? I mean seriously? That’s just one issue. I’m terrified for my girls. But that’s another blog. I find myself on the cusp of the bible belt where I live and it’s an interesting balancing act to not offend someone out here. This country wasn’t founded on religion. It gives freedom of it to us. We can worship as we see fit, without persecution. That’s the part that often gets forgotten. Without persecution.
So why am I here? Well, yesterday, I my child went over to play with her friend and she comes home with a bible. WTH? Who does this? Especially since I have talked to this mom about our wishes and she agreed to disagree and respect our wishes. It seems that is not the case as this isn’t the first offense.
It started off innocently enough, by my daughter coming home and saying that her friends mom said she should join them at church. That she could spend Saturday night and go with them on Sunday. While I was not amused that she would go through my kid instead of me, I let it slide. I brushed off the next issue, or rather, non-issue, since I knew they were going to a youth group night and I had no problem with the girls going because it was going to be a fun night out for them. And the mom asked me if it was okay first before going. Pizza, kids & fun and a little exposure. I’m okay with that. What I am not okay with is the mom then saying, you should come with us every Saturday or come with us to church. Can you ask your mom if you can come to church with us. Um… no.
Our daughter asked us the other day as we were driving if it was okay that she liked science because she was told liking science would make Jesus mad. WHAT? Sean and I were speechless. Who would say that? It was a different adult, different church, saying it through my daughters friend. My poor kid was so upset that she was making someone mad, someone that in our eyes, maybe not yours, but certainly ours, is not real. Why would you do this to someone, especially a child? Cause them distress? Makes me sick. It’s also one of the big reasons organized religion and myself do not get along.
To me, living a good life, being kind to others, letting others have their own beliefs, sexual orientations, or whatever they wish, and just going about my day, is what makes a good person. By learning new things, exploring, asking questions, challenging the status quo, finding your own way, that is what makes life exciting and worth the fight.
If finding your own way means that you’ve found a church community that makes you feel happy and fulfilled, I’m happy for you, I really, truly, am. If it means that because you found one, everyone should be there too and you feel you need to preach at me at every turn and/or recruit through my kids, shame on you. I’m not telling your child that she shouldn’t believe in God, I would NEVER do that, #1 not my place and #2 it’s just plain wrong. Those are my beliefs, not hers or her parents. By telling her she is wrong to believe such a thing is unethical and just plain cruel.
We get a lot of flack for our beliefs (or in many eyes, non-beliefs), but they are ours. Our kids are growing up to be kind, compassionate, hard working, open minded and smart members of society. They do not need Jesus, or the bible, to do this. I don’t go around to everyone telling them are crazy for believing in God and going to church and tithing. Why would I? Honestly, if it makes you happy, go for it. But please have the same respect for me and my family.
And for the sake of decency, STOP trying to use my kids to further your own agenda.
New Fans
Last Saturday we were able to see our first pro soccer game and watched as the local team beat the visiting team! Our youngest, was pretty bored and annoyed through it, but our oldest was having a blast just taking it all in. It probably didn’t hurt that they got soda, nachos and cotton candy, but hey, it was a different than usual Saturday night.
This moment shows the two of them, now that the youngest was hopped up on sugar and nachos, cheering on the team in unison, which so rarely happens, they are sisters after all and competition is high. I adore this photo. It’s happy, exciting, new and it’s showcasing a new experience in their young lives, one we hope we can emulate in the future many more times.
The power in being alone
Solitude can be scary, it can be exhilarating. It can lift us up or drown us. I personally don’t mind being alone. I am comfortable there. Granted, I do like hanging out with friends, but I’m turning into a homebody and I’m cool with that. In a house with 2 kids, a husband and 2 dogs, life gets loud. Very loud. When it gets quiet, it’s very quiet, and I cherish those moments. It allows me to slow down and reconnect. To think about things, who I am, what I want and what I have. For me, solitude is a chance to regroup and recharge so I can deal with all the loud my life offers.
Teaspoon of Ginger 